Finding God

Ladies and gentlemen, I have found God. I know who he is, I have met him.

I had the wonderful opportunity yesterday to meet a modern religious guru while in Pai, Thailand. The lucky guy knows god, and you can too!

Don’t worry everyone, I’m not being serious. In all actuality, there is something about hearing that statement which is really frightening to me. It’s so matter of fact, so confident, so end of the line, so… arrogant.

Reel ’em in with laughter, simple truths, dancing, orange robes, a shaved head, and a strong presence. After everyone’s smiling and soaking everything up like children, throw them the pamphlet about the course. The 7 day, articulately planned out course on how to be a better person and learn the truth.

Not a free course of course. But the holy man wouldn’t bring that up quite yet.

You see, I know a salesman when I see one, I’ve been a saleswomen myself. If there is anything I have learned in my life, its to be alert around the people who claim to know things with certainty about god. Be wary of the person who’s trying to sell you something.

I should have started out the post this way:

Ladies and gentlemen, I have found a wolf. Yet another person trying to sell you god. Yet another fisherman reeling in hungry fish, casting nets into the ocean of people and taking what money he can get.

All in all, he seemed a fantastic guy with possibilities of becoming a bit of a cult leader. You know, those types of people who have followers who go to seminars in fancy hotels in cities like LA. They know the secret to happiness, (so they say) and they’ll teach it to you for a fee. He is already holding seminars for large groups of businessmen, and I came across him tonight by a compelling situation of chance.

I’ve been looking for teachers, someone to teach me about Buddhism, meditation, Taoism, yoga, and pretty much anything related. And ‘lo and behold, this Russian Baba, who’s flying into town for a seminar in Bangkok, decides to be a day late so he could show up here in Pai, to speak with us. Not on purpose mind you, but by chance. Because he dressed like a sheep at an airport, and someone spotted him believing they’d be getting the real wool. Lucky us! I know I was fooled at first. His appearance in my life, just as I was getting into town, seemed like fate at first, and he seemed so wise and aware.

Perhaps I’m being a bit too cynical towards this guy. He was knowledgeable in eastern philosophy and religion, far, far, far more so than I am. More than 85% of what he said was great advice as well. Simple and beautiful truths that everyone needs reminding of now and again. Like, don’t be afraid to smile, be humble, remember to love, and all of those other great sayings you’ll find on cheesy Facebook memes. He had passion for what he was teaching, he was engaging, musically talented, and he could very possibly have had nothing but good intentions.

But… There’s that but.

And that, but, farted out, ” I know who god is, I have met him.”

I wish I could show you all my own picture of this guy and his companion. Unfortunately I didn’t have my camera on me when I went to this bahajan/satsang gathering. He was dressed like a monk, sang hare Krishna, and preached of Jesus Christ. My reaction at the end if it all? Sorry dude, I was a Mormon once, I am fully experienced with people who claim to know and see god. Maybe many who claim it, believe it, and there is nothing wrong with that. But my opinion is that to claim to know, with certainty, anything related to the unknown, is stunting towards growth of actual learning.

My conclusion so far after this experience? God is still hiding, or maybe god is everything and nothing. whatever the case, people are still longing to connect, love, and experience life. There will always be charlatans and preachers and prophets who claim to know things, many of them do know great things, but always take it in with a bit of open-minded cynicism. Or don’t, it’s totally up to you. 🙂

Hare Krishna,


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