Home Shock

I recently returned to my hometown after being away for over a year.

As my plane flew over my great salty lake and soured parallel to those ‘oh so familiar’ mountains, my heart began to beat faster. The excitement I experienced upon touching down at the airport easily rivaled the excitement I got from first leaving 14 months ago.

The plane needed to dock faster because I was about to surprise my friends and family and the exhilarating part was that no one knew I was even coming. I missed my friends, their familiar faces had frequented my dreams as I anticipated seeing them again. I had been planning this surprise arrival for months and what made me nervous was that they were going to experience the new travel me.

When it comes to travel, what we don’t often hear about is home shock. Often, most things remain the same back at home, yet us travelers have quite literally seen the world and travel has a way of speeding up the inevitable. Long exposure to change, differences, and experiences tend to alter a person, and the realization of the contrast can cause a bit of an identity tremor.

Accompanied with the excitement of seeing friends I hadn’t seen in a while, was a slight concern of my expected behavior. How much had I changed? Was it enough to shock the people who knew me? One thing I’ve noticed about human behavior is that folks tend not to like change. We appreciate when our friends and surroundings are familiar, and the dislike of alterations have spawned negative associations to the statement, “she’s changed.”

I’ve noticed something about the emotion of nervousness; it’s that it’s identical to the feeling of excitement only with different thoughts behind it. So I decided to sit comfortably, or as comfortably as I could, in my new skin. If I changed then I changed, and my friends and family would have to be happy for it.

I quickly found that the acceptance of my friends and family was the last thing to get nervous about, after all, I was still me and they love me. However, home shock came from an existential realization of change. We all eventually reminisce of days past and who we used to be; it’s the consequence of time.

Twenty years from now I’ll be a different person, and twenty years from then I’ll be another different person; and forty years from now you will be a different person too. This is because change always affects us, and change is inevitable. While driving along my old streets I realized that even my city will dramatically alter in another 50 years or less.

Culture shock affects us because it forces us to look at life and ourselves in another light. Home shock affects us because it forces us to look at our past, future, and present in another light. That new perspective on things lit up the realization that living in the moment is the only way to truly live.

Judgements From a Pocket Monkey

There is a monkey on my sweater with a stern look on his face. I can see him looking at me through my bedroom mirror. I bought the sweater from a thrift shop because I thought a front pocket was a fun spot to place a stern looking monkey. Surrounded by shitty half finished paintings, I’m questioning my purchase while I’m drinking horrible tasting wine and smoking far too much weed. Is the monkey judging me? Where am I? What am I doing? I’m momentarily obsessed with questions like these, yet I love when I feel the need to ask them.

I’ve been traveling the world alone and I’m currently in Australia, working in cafes and living in a shed for a few months while I work on my paintings.   Considering my situation, I’ve had a couple of people ask me if I’ve found myself yet. I suppose it’s a cliche’ for people to travel while in search of themselves, so I can’t blame them for asking. But I can’t help but wonder, where is the finding when the found is always with you? What excites me is the thought that we’re always finding ourselves.

Whether stationary or not, travel is a metaphor for life. Confronting the world forces you to confront the different aspects of yourself in relation to the different aspects of the world. Because the world is full of changes, so are we. Since I was a teenager my goal in life has been to create myself through experience. What new things can I explore? What new sensations may I feel? I have inadvertently “found myself” while traveling, but that’s only because I’ll find myself everywhere I am.

Zazz and sweater-Pocket Monkey in her art shed.

This doesn’t mean I don’t get scared. In all actually, I’m often fairly terrified. What am I doing with my life? Why have I anthropomorphized a pocket monkey? Where will this all take me? I’ve recently bought an expensive professional camera with the goal in mind of creating a traveling podcast. I know nothing about cameras, filming, or editing. The other day I was playing around by recording random things, when the reality of what I’m trying to do freaked me out. Talking alone into the camera is actually pretty damn hard, it can make you feel vulnerable and a bit crazy. Especially when you find yourself doing it with little friend support in some crummy and cold shed in the backyard of a crummier house in Melbourne. Are my goals a joke? Even if I pull this off, who will watch it?

I travel in order to explore and open myself up to possibilities, but I also originally took off in hopes of finding an opportunity that I can commit to. I often feel constantly torn in the directions I want to take in life. Some days I just want someone to simply tell me what to do. Yet if there is anything else I hate more in this world, it’s someone telling me what to do. I’m a walking contradiction in that way. I think my desire for instruction is derived from a fear of responsibility. If someone else is dictating my life, I can blame them for my disappointments; but I can’t live that way because I know it’s a lie. I’m responsible for my own life, I have no one else to blame if I fail.

This realization of responsibility has been an enormous thing to take in. I’ve always thought of responsibility as this thing associated with a career, children, or doing the dishes; but it’s more than even that. We are responsible for our entire lives. Not just our current, living, and breathing in this moment lives, we’re responsible for everything leading up to our inevitable deaths. What’s worse, failing or never doing? The answer is never doing. Because if we fail when we reach the end of our lives, we’re failing anyway; but we’re failing without having even tried.

I ended up in Melbourne after a series of bizarre and fantastic events and my mind is still reeling with the freedom I currently possess. The pocket monkey might be looking at me disappointingly, but I love my situation. I’m living a dream of mine since childhood and I’m free to explore the world and myself as I please. This is a good thing. The more things I explore, the more things I try, the more I learn about myself; my true self, not the self filled with “shoulds” and “can’ts.” And whatever I end up doing or abandoning, at least I’ve learned something. At least I’ve DONE something, instead of sitting on my ass complaining about life and wasting it. Judge that pocket monkey.

Are We Grown Ups Yet?

Growing up involves developing mental processes to navigate, avoid, and resolve conflict and bumps in the road of life. It’s not just about learning to do taxes or buying your own home; growing up is learning to take responsibility, learning to listen to others, and taking appropriate action. At first glance words such as “responsibility” and “appropriate” can ignite a negative taste on the mouth. But growing up also involves the cognitive understanding that taking the “high road” is far less drama and has a better view.

In my experience I’ve come to find that 98% of potential arguments are simply verbal and emotional misunderstandings. Words only go so far to communicate our feelings and desires, and when strong feelings are involved, it’s easy to get caught up and consumed by our emotions. The thing with overwhelming emotions is that they demand our attention. When all of our attention is on one or two powerful feelings, it can seem impossible to see anything else, which creates a lot of room for misunderstandings. While blinded by hate or sadness we miss the words being said, and often more importantly, we miss the intended meaning of the words being said. In arguments we get tunnel vision when we should be looking at the landscape.

Learning to approach conflict from a lookout point instead of a tunnel is the epitome of maturity. It’s not an easy thing to ignore strong emotions in an attempt to see the full view. It can be exceptionally hard because it forces you to confront your own potential faults and misunderstandings. The upside to leaving the tunnel is that views are often colorful and beautiful, and avoiding or working out a conflict is the best kind of relief.

Off the Paved Path in Thailand

Many people travel for vacation, going to the popular bars and attractions and participating in set tours. Some of us travel as a way of life; a way to experience new cultures, vistas, and flavors. If this is you, you might be disappointed in finding how commercialized and touristy Thailand can be.

Don’t fret! There are always places to explore.

If you’re not interested in seeing heaps of youngsters wearing neon “same same, but different” shirts, book yourself a local bus or train ticket and venture to these five unconventional tourist spots in Thailand. They’re like the rest of Thailand, but different.

Isaan Country

Discover Thailand’s agricultural roots. Less developed and away from beaches, you’ll find little to no other tourists in this region of Thailand depending on where you go. Expect to find spicy food and to hear the Isan language, which is a dialect of Lao.

Norther Isaan

Must Do

Visit the statues of Sala Kaew Ku,in Nong Khai.
See Fireballs shoot out of the Mekong River during Buddhist Lent.
Drink kaw nam lac, a local spirit made of rum, orange juice, and ground peppers.

buddhaPhoto — Zazz in front of Buddha statue in Sala Kaew Ku, Thailand

Southern Isaan

Warning: In the recent past the border area of Si Saket provenance has been dangerous due to an ongoing border dispute between Thailand and Cambodia. Research before you visit.

Must Do

Phanom Rung and Phimai Historical Parks are like Angkor Wat without the crowds.
A temple made of beer bottles? Yes. Marvel at it in Si Sa Ket.
Khao Yai National Park, Thailand’s first national park for a reason.

beerbottlePhoto — Wat Lan Khaud, meaning, Temple Of A Million Bottles. Photo by Chris Mitchell

Khlong Lan National Park

Khloong Lan a village in Kamphaeng Phet provenance in the west of Thailand. Khlong Lan is mostly inhabited by the Karen People, and being near Myanmar, has a bit of a Burmese influence. You’ll see some of the men and boys wearing longyi, which are sarong-like clothing worn by men.

Must Do

Take the local bus in from Tak. By bus I mean a truck with benches in the back. This is where you meet locals and experience actual traveling, and not just touring. Resilience alert: The road is long and curvy. If you’re a bit of a wimp, or have a serious reason like neck or spinal injuries, take the cushy tour-bus.
Try green tomato salad. It’s a Burmese specialty but is possible to find here. Also comes in an avocado version, one of my favorite foods in the world.
Khlong Lan waterfall. Speaks for itself.

waterfall1 — Khlong Lan waterfall, Thailand.

Mae Hong Son Provenance

A home to the Karen people and the Thai Yai. Occupied with misty mountains, historically, the area has been used for elephant training. Avoid the town, Nai Soi, which is set up like a human zoo.

Must Do

Namtok Mae Surin National Park and Mae Surin Waterfall.
Pai. A lovely touristy town, worth it if you enjoy hanging out with hippies.
Hitchhike. Yeah seriously. It’s the best way to meet locals, see places you otherwise wouldn’t, and the police and army will actually help you find rides. Be Safe, use common sense and don’t hitchhike alone if you’re a woman.

busride2 — Hitchhiking adventure with beautiful Thai families.

Nervous about venturing off of tourist paths? Check out our Travel Tips for inspiration.

Sit Down with Cliches

Have you ever repeated a word over and over again only to find that at such a fast pace that particular word loses it’s meaning and simply becomes a strange sound? If not, here’s a fun game to try. Pick a word, any word, and repeat it until you’re blue in the face. Go on, this is a safe space and I am giving you full permission to live in the moment.

A silly game designed to shed some light on the human brain shows us that repetition dulls awareness. Let’s take the word “love” for example and repeat it until it sounds like an alien spacecraft hovering five inches above the ground. One of the most powerful emotions and expressions in our human experience, love, becomes reduced to an obnoxious and meaningless noise. This constant repetition, sending us clear into oblivion, is the problem with cliches. They are wise words that are so overly repeated that they often lose their meaning and pizazz.

Follow your dreams.
Money doesn’t buy happiness.
Live and let live.
Be yourself.  Forgive and forget
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
Laughter is the best medicine.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Zazz on a ledge on Hua Shan (mountain) in Shaanxi, China.

It has even become a cliche to hear these sayings and, “take them to heart.”

Fisherman showing off in Inle Lake, Myanmar.

We love cliches because they are so often true, but inspiration is fleeting without application. I challenge you to break the spell of the meaningless word sounds, go beyond taking it to heart and take these words to action. After all, “actions do speak louder than words”.

How can we reverse what appears to be obnoxious noise, thus transforming this cloudy clatter into meaningful application? It’s not the repetition alone that dulls cliches, it’s the speed at which we consume them. We read and see Pinterest and Instagram photos with interesting backgrounds and Insta-inspirational quotations posted online; sometimes we share them, or give them a “like” all in order to get our enlightenment fixes for the day. However, these words seem to insta-come and go, in one ear and out the other, as we continue about our day with little internalization of what these words actually mean. Let’s make a collective goal to stop treating our words like fast-food. It’s time to pause, taste, and enjoy our meal.

“Old habits really do die hard” but they can die eventually. Take advantage of the simple insta-reminders throughout your day to help clear the meaningless noise by reflecting. The next time you find yourself reading a beautiful quote on your timeline or newsfeed, remember to sit down with the cliche as if it were a decadent cup of coffee. Taste it, smell it, and let it give you energy to take action. It’s natural to be swept away into the fast-past hustle of life and social media, so don’t get yourself down when you do because there is yet another cliche that just so happens to be true: “The more you try, the more likely you are to succeed.”

Zazz showing off her goods on the Great Wall of China.

Quality Over Quantity

A fellow traveling friend recently asked me how my experiences visiting new towns and cities have changed since I first set off on the road nine months ago. Does the excitement of seeing a new place still compel me to, “go, go, go” and explore every crevice, monument, and tourist sight possible? Or do I take it slow, spending a day or two in my guesthouse or hotel relaxing?

It didn’t take me long to answer his question. I have thought about this many times before and I have found that the longer I’ve been on my travels the less of a tourist I’ve become. I’ve found myself spending hours, sometimes days, indoors, on the porch, or in a restaurant reading, writing, painting and skipping popular tourist destinations altogether.

This is a topic I have talked about with other travelers before, and it seems to be on many nomads’ minds. What’s more important, quality or quantity? Should we feel guilty for not exploring everything we can of a new place? We travel in order to see, explore, and experience new things after all, shouldn’t I get off of my computer and do exactly that?

What I love most about travel is that it is a reflection of our journey through life itself. While caught up in the mundane tasks of everyday modern living, we often forget to see the whole picture of where we are. Our lives are relatively short on this earth and we shouldn’t take our days and hours for granted.

Living and being completely in a moment is exactly how we avoid wasting our lives away. If the hectic worries of catching a bus at noon or seeing x number of sites before evening is getting in the way of actually being wholly in a moment, then we should take a step back for a second and let go. If we’re burying our nose in maps and guide books and treating a place like Disneyland, then perhaps we’re missing the point of travel. We’ve got to take time to breathe, look around us, and reflect on the moment. If we’re too preoccupied on sticking to a schedule and our minds are filled with fears of missing out, we often are missing out.

The mirror of travel has shown me that, just like in life, I can’t do and see everything; it’s not humanly possible. But it has also shown me that life and experience is all there for the taking; I simply have to learn to close my laptop sometimes and walk out the door. As the hectic rush and worry of, “go, go, go” can take away from living in the moment, hiding away in a rented room for days can do the same.   There is no Lonely Planet book to answer my friend’s questions on when it’s right to sit, and when it’s right to go. The pace we choose to travel and live our lives is a personal thing which can change from day-to-day. The important thing to remember is that quality, not just quantity, is most rewarding.

photo 1(3) — Melbourne gallery art installation by Mark Hilton.

Forced Humility

Despite my declarations of humility and announcements of having a decent handle on life, I am still human and I am able to trick myself into believing things which aren’t entirely true.

I gave myself a huge slap in the face by missing my $300 flight to Australia, and proving to myself that I am, indeed, not always great.

I had painted an elaborate and beautiful picture of myself which I held high and was happy to share to the world.

“I am organized, I am responsible, I am lucky, I am wise, smart, ambitious, resourceful, and flexible.”

I am living my dreams of travel and writing a blog after all, why wouldn’t I be these things?

Slap!

Beliefs of ones character, especially the self delusional ones, are different from reality without application.

They say it’s difficult to practice what you preach and I found this out first hand in a 300 dollar sort of way.

So what caused me to miss my flight?

I had arrived 45 minuets before departure, but the airline had closed check-in merely minutes before I had arrived. Scoot, an evil Singaporean airline, would not let me through no matter how decent I behaved and no matter how much I pleaded with managers and staff.

For 45 minutes I had to bear the thought of my plane being so near yet so out of reach.

Ultimately, the airline was being extremely unfair. I didn’t have any need to check my bag, carry on would have sufficed, and the lines through security were short as well. Logic would have let me “Scoot” on through to catch my flight just in time.

But logic is not how many airlines approach business when greed is involved, especially airlines from Singapore, and this is something I understood.

So why wasn’t I there 2 hours before departure like all airlines advise for international flights?

To be honest, I’m not entirely sure why I approached my flight this way. I simply wasn’t thinking. I have no real excuse for myself and this is the biggest disappointment of all, my lack of actual effort.

Too often I have let my luck and looks drive circumstances and have conned it off as wisdom and resourcefulness. This day was a brutal reminder of my faults, lack of proper planning and responsibility, and it awakened me to my false sense of self.

This reminder has been a bit more painful than the hole in my bank account.

I can see a silver lining in this experience, however. There is often one when you look hard enough.

To know ones faults is the first step to self progression. Hopefully next time my experience of humility won’t be forced upon me through circumstances and I won’t miss anymore expensive deadlines.

Until then I will be promptly writing a formal complaint to Scoot Airlines for horrible customer service.

Episode 3 Jeremy Sutton

Jeremy and I had such a good conversation that the people of Laos and Thailand deemed it worthy of fireworks.

Find out what the celebration is all about, learn what self awareness does to the brain, and discover what the hell yoga is really all about in this fantastic episode.

Download

Want to get in contact with Jeremy or read articles that came from his brain? Check out his blog and Facebook page.
A Wandering Wonderer
World-Centric Perspective

Fear of Success

As I drunkenly sat on the roof of a boat in the middle of the Mekong River with lanterns and stars above me; as I found myself at the feet of a monk in a crammed truck mistaken for a bus, hitching a ride to who-knows-where; and as I’ve found myself in continual awe of the odd and amazing places I’ve found myself while on my travels, I’ve come to a realization.

-There’s something frightening about pursuing your dreams-

A realization that the power has always been in your own hands and what you don’t accomplish isn’t anyone elses fault but your own.

Your failures are your own.

That expectation, that responsibility, it’s scary as shit.

There’s only so far you can go while blaming your failures in life on outside circumstances. Maybe it’s your government, your health, or cheaters constantly taking advantage of you, but the stories we admire throughout life are the ones where people overcome these obstacles.

We love these stories because they inspire. But inspiration is fleeting without action, and action is our own responsibility.

It’s good to remember that our ego lifts us, but our ego often lies to us.

Our egos can be so afraid of being put down and crumbled that it often creates excuses and rationalizations in order to not disappoint itself. This can seriously hold a person back in life.

It leaves me with a question, “Do we fear others, or do we really fear ourselves when it comes to living our dreams?”

That’s a personal question with a personal answer I cannot answer for anyone. But I feel that I can safely say that when a wounded ego holds the reins of a person, that person is more likely to shoot others down in order to feel better about not meeting their own failed expectations of themselves.

It’s why I’m writing this article today. A reminder for my frightened self as well as a call to action to take the reins of your dreams and don’t give up.

Reaching for your dreams not only let’s yourself try, it gives an unspoken, “ok” for others to try too.

I’ve realized something else while pushing myself to overcome personal obstacles and doubts.

Exhilaration and fear are sometimes similar sensations. You can choose your outlook to help drive you forward.

Everything I’ve said here is not new, but the clichés of life are clichés for a reason. We simply need to take the time to listen, hear, and actualized it without letting ourselves hold us back.

Embrace the frightening changes throughout life and experience for yourself.

–There’s something exhilarating about pursuing your dreams-

Episode Two Mut Mee

Dinner style conversation with the inhabitants of Mut Mee guesthouse In Nong Khai, Thailand.

Why is everyone traveling? Why do Asian men make such good lady-boys? Why are there eggs on the table? Find out by listening to this fun episode.

For more information on Spain’s unemployment problem and Finland’s mandatory military service, check out the links below.
Spain Out of Control
Compulsory Military Service
Problems with Soundcloud? Listen to episode two below.